a car goes full speed off a cliff and explodes at the bottom and when the smoke clears it's actually just perfectly parallel parked
so tired of people beinglike "AHHH rats!!!" in new york city. You are Visiting their Home.
the ham is melting, the turkey is suspended in midair, the salami is hatching from its own egg. why did we even come to the salvador deli
im gonna remove my nervous system so i wont be nervous anymore. cant believe what a good idea this is why did no one else do this
woke up to my neighbor screaming “louder please, alexa!” and now ring of fire by johnny cash is positively Blasting through the morning air